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ThomasChong 44 link entries
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  • Posted: April 8, 2012
  • Updated: May 5, 2012
  • Category: Inventions
  • Media Type: Text
  • Status: Upcoming
  • Tags: #thomaschong #iolite #chronic c
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2 PUFF PASS

For Chronic C, Iolite Instructions (I Couldn't Post Em' All)

To use the iolite Original Vaporizer, first fill the unit with highly refined butane gas and let sit for a few minutes. (3-5 minutes). For a consistent superior vapor flow, I recommend you remove the moisture condenser before using the iolite Original Vaporizer.

This can be done by unscrewing the iolite Original Vaporizer mouthpiece counter-clockwise from the 7 Dot Filling Chamber. Use the maintenance tool to push down on the Moisture Condenser, releasing it from inside the mouthpiece chamber.

Secure the mouthpiece back to the 7 Dot F Chamber with a clockwise motion to finish the process). First, turn on the power switch to the “1” dial to activate the iolite Original Vaporizer.

Next, press in the Piezo or Igniter Button to activate the patented flameless gas catalytic heater and thermostat. Once activated, the orange temperature control light on the port of the iolite will stay lit until the optimal vaporization temperature is achieved.

Normally between 60-90 seconds, however a 7-9 minute wait time is recommended by me. Begin finely grinding your bud, insuring the maximum release of its thc. Remove the filling chamber from the top of the unit and fill the weed inside the iolite 7 Dot Filling Chamber Screen.

Now, secure the filling chamber back on the base to begin vaporizing. Draw from the mouthpiece with deep steady breathes as vaporization takes place. For better Vapor Quality, attach the Comfort Care Package onto the extendable Mouthpiece.

This 12 inch Vapor tool creates an elongated air corridor, allowing the vapor to cool down even more before entering the lungs. The Comfort Care Package makes the unit size only 18 inches from top to bottom and allows for long deep inhalations of your weed.

When the blend is completely used, remove the filling chamber and discard your weed using the maintenance tool provided. Repeat the steps as desired.
posted on April 8, 2012
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  • EatzTheStemz May 5, 2012
  • ThomasChong April 8, 2012
  • 11 PUFF PASS

    Fear and Loathing in India

    It was the August of 1974, I wanted to go to India, I had a childhood friend who had come to North America for two years, then left just as my senior year ended. His name was Sanjay Suri (No relation to the actor), he left, and we never talked until 18 years later when I was 36. I received a letter from him in 1974, he had sent it to my mothers house, who then sent it to me, in the letter was a phone number and an invitation to Kishangnajiohaligar, an incredibly isolated small town about 20 miles away from Kishanganj, attached was a picture of a field of Marijuana plants, totally out in the open, right next to his house. There was one problem, he couldn't come get me, and I had no money for a plane, so I decided I would take a shipping boat, my destination was Mormugao, a town all the way across India. Since it was a boat ride, the customs would be much more relaxed, as in a single bribe to the only customs officer on the dock of the New York harbor for my backpack and suitcase not to be checked, why didn't I want them to be checked? Because I was carrying enough drugs to make an Argentinosaurus think the sky was falling.

    What was I packing exactly? An ounce of weed, a liquid vial of about 30 hits of acid, 10 peyote buttons, 2 grams of DMT, and 20 tabs of T-U-I. Now, just so you know, these are estimations, I brought my whole drug collection on this trip to the savage heart of my inner soul, yes, this trip would be Fear and Loathing in India.

    I was sleeping on a straw bed of a port side room that smelled of onions, the trip was expected to last three weeks, I decided I could easily find more weed in India, so I began smoking my weed, about a quarter to half gram per day, there were a total of 9 people on the boat, the captain, me, another traveler making the holy journey to mecca, the cook, and 5 crew members. I was saving all my other drugs for India itself, but I decided I could indulge in hallucinogens a few times during the trip.

    The first day was the strangest, we left in the late after-noon, I retired to my quarters to smoke half a joint and sketch the patterns of rust and paint on the walls, the ship was more comfortable than I had expected it to be, but it was very humid on the lower decks, when I was called up for dinner. The crew was silent, apart from the occasional observation to the weather, we ate in silence that first night. I went back to my quarters and found myself surprisingly tired, I went to sleep.

    I awoke around 1 AM, I couldn’t fall back asleep so I went upstairs onto the deck to finish off my joint, at the front of the ship, to my surprise, I saw the Muslim I was traveling with, I went up to him and introduced myself, his name was Rafiq Al Daye, he had grown up in Afghanistan his whole life, and was going there, where he would visit his childhood home, then move on to Mecca. I pulled out my joint, asking him if he would partake, he said yes, and produced a box of matches, we smoked and looked at the stars and breathed in the sea tinged air. We then ventured into his cabin, where a sitar and a few bags lied, from from one of his bags he produced a huge jar of hashish oil, and a hooka, we smoked hash oil, conversed about all sorts of things, while he played the sitar, expertly I might add.

    I had moments like this with the captain and two other crew members, for two weeks I smoked weed, tried to learn the sitar, had a number of deep conversations, sketched waves, things on the boat, stared at clouds, stars, and looked over the horizon. But about 4 days away from India, a storm started to emerge, it had rained on the boat before, but this was a full blown tropical storm, it was supposed to have gone over us, but it shifted downward, it had rained for 8 hours, very hard, but it wasn’t very worrying, I thought that what I was experiencing would have been the worse, boy was I wrong. Me, Matthew (the cook), and Rafiq were smoking some hash oil, talking about nothing in particular, when a huge wave hit the side of the boat, Rafiq went into action almost immediately, throwing out clothes from one of his bags to put his Sitar into, so it wouldn’t be broken.

    Me and Matthew raced upstairs to see something out of a pirate movie, a whole crew racing around trying to make sure the boat didn’t capsize, Matthew went over to help them, I went into the captains cabin, he told me to get Rafiq upstairs so he wouldn’t drown if the boat capsized, I found him praying to Allah to spare our lives, I told him he needed to come upstairs, he finished praying and grabbed one of his bags. We stood on the deck, where he began praying again. After about 3 hours of standing in the rain, the storm ended, and the sun began to rise. But the damage was done, our communications and compass was totally fucked, our captain had to get to India using a globe, the sun, and the stars, but I had faith in him, and we arrived in India 6 days later. I said my good byes to all the friends I had made and walked out of the port city I was in. I was in India now, on my way across the country.

    Mormugao was a beautiful small town, as I stepped off the ship I felt pretty good, thats one of the pros of ship travel, no jet lag. But I had had a diet of onions, chicken, and rice for the past three weeks, I wanted some Indian food. I found a small cafe that was selling some food to sailors, I ate there, then walked into the winding city of Mormugao. In a small street, I found a small child of about 7 playing with a soccer ball. I conversed with him in broken English for a while. His older sister, or possibly mother walked out, yelling at him, he picked up his ball and ran inside, him, and three other children close to his age sat down and started eating a meager meal of rice. They all seemed famished. I walked back to the dock market and purchased a Chicken. I navigated my way back to the house. I knocked on the door. The teenager, of about 16, was shocked to see a white tourist with a whole chicken. I handed it to her, she looked at me, puzzled, and said in a thick Indian accent, “Of what price?”, I answered “None”, her eyes lit up. She cooked it up, and placed it on the table, as I ate with the family, 3 other children outside the window looked in, I invited them in.

    I slept on the kitchen table with some blankets under me for bedding that night, it was somehow more comfortable than the fancy bed I had slept in in New York. The next morning, we had some rice for breakfast, and I left Mormugao on foot. I didn’t have a map, but that wouldn’t matter to me until I made it relatively close to Kishangnajiohaliga. All I really needed to know was that the sun rose on the East and set in the West. I brought a milk carton that I filled with water at any chance I could find, the hot Indian sun was unforgiving. Around 3 of my first day of walking. I looked around, and found that I couldn’t see a single human settlement, but the hills were beautiful, I decided to take a nap in the shade of a tree. I awoke to a farmer poking me with a stick, thinking I was dead. He spoke English well enough for us to have a basic conversation under the shade of the tree. He explained that tourists were killed by snakes all the time, and that I might have been victim of one. He offered me a ride on his oxen drawn cart filled with hay. I sat in the back, conversing with him. I got off when he turned off onto a smaller road to get to his farm, and resumed walking.

    After another hour of walking, I began walking through a more mountainous region, not large mountains, but cliffs ranging 20 to 40 feet. The path was smaller now, and more rocky with plants sticking out, it cut through two cliffs, at the top of one cliff, was a man sitting cross legged, I decided to walk around to the top of the cliff. and sat down next to him, he talked to me, with his eyes still closed in an Indian language. I said “I’m American”, he said back to me “Ah, American, you must be lost.”, to which I replied “Nobody can really be lost, since there’s no set path in life, we are always at our destination”. To this he opened his eyes, and a smile grew on his face. He was a Sadhu, a Hindu monk, he chose to live his life in perpetual pilgrimage, moving around all of India. We talked on the hill side for hours, until the sun went down. I built a fire by a large rock, where we roasted some local nuts for dinner. From a pouch on his hip he produced a Chillum and began smoking marijuana, he always had a happy look on his face, he seemed old, around 70, he handed the Chillum to me, and we smoked together and slept under the stars, when I awoke, he was gone. All that was left was the Chillum and a sack of the nuts. The Chillum is still one of my most treasured possessions.

    I kept walking on the trail, on my way to the North. I was happy.

    It had been about a month since I had been in the Sadhus presence, since then, I had become tan, traded my shoes for sandals, and had experienced a stomach shrinking of epic proportions, the equivalent of a quarter of a hamburger from a McDonald’s dollar menu would now fill me up. On my belt hung a masterfully crafted Indian knife, which was sharp enough to go through almost anything with the lightest touch.

    I sat by a fire, on a bed of ground, and, as I thought to myself quietly, I realized something, for the first time in my life, I was happy, 100% happy, 100% comfortable, 100% at peace. My bed of dirt and leaves was more comfortable than any luxury mattress back home. I decided that it was finally time to take some hallucinogens, I took about 4 hits of T-U-I and 3 of acid, for the first hour after the onset, I stared at the fire, in awe of the sizes, shapes, and colors the fire contorted into. A bed of grass grew around me, in my state, I deemed it necessary to put the fire out before it ignited the grass. In the newly found darkness in the absence of the fire, I noticed a small boy, who had walked out from behind a tree. In his hand was a bow, he was blue from head to toe, he motioned me to follow him, so I grabbed my suitcase and backpack and followed him into the thick brush of the Indian wilderness.

    For about an hour, I followed him, until I lost him to the leaves around me. I stumbled into a clearing, I looked up at the moon, it grew larger and larger, until all I could see was a pure white, all around me. I blinked. The boy appeared. I blinked again, the boy was gone, replaced by a world of magnificent colors. I stared at them for hours. They told me a story, of past, present, and future. They spoke to me, I spoke to them, I was happy.

    The sun rose a while later. I was in the middle of nowhere. I knew from the position of the sun which way was north, so I started walking.

    After about two days of walking through the wilderness, my food and water supplies were completely gone. After 3 days, I was delirious. I decided to take two hits of acid to relieve my cotton mouth. I saw the blue boy again, but, in a blink, he was gone, only to be replaced by my guardian, he knocked on a tree, shook his head, then knocked on another tree, and nodded. I realized something, there would be water in the trees, how stupid could I have been? I drew my knife, and chopped the tree my guardian had nodded to, there was enough inside to drink, I sucked the low flow stream of water for hours. I stumbled onto the trail about 4 days later, still starving without any food, I made my way to the next village on my path. Ready to set out again.

    I had hitched a ride on a truck going north, it was filled with metals that smelled like burnt plastic. I jumped off when the driver informed me he was going West. It was cloudy, and I could feel the pre-drops of rain getting ready to fall upon me. It was around 9 O' Clock, the ground was too wet to sleep on or make a fire out of, so I knew I would need to find a house to bunk in.

    About two hours alter I had jumped off the truck, I reached a small building, as I stepped inside, I realized it was a Bhang shop, with a little old lady on a stool knitting. It was just her and her son, she didn't speak English, but her son did, pretty well in fact. He said I could sleep upstairs if I worked the counter the next day. But, to make sure I didn't run off with the money from the register, I would have to give him my chillum to hold onto.

    The next day a total of 7 customers came in, since it was a rainy night, he told me I could stay the night again, but would have to leave early the next morning. That night I had 5 hits of acid, and had two glasses of Bhang, which was more powerful than I had previously though. Bhang is an Indian drink, that tastes somewhat like milk, but, its infused with incredibly potent marijuana. This boosted my acid high to a point that I couldn't discern hallucinations from reality. I saw beetles crawling out of the woodwork, lights flashing from downstairs, yelling, screaming, and shouting. Then I saw her, a cross between Ju-on and The Exorcist Demon in the corner, she lunged at me, grabbing my ankle, I had had enough, I grabbed my things and raced out into the rain, running down the road, away from that terrible attic.

    It was a bad night, it stopped raining around 2 in the morning, but the ground was still too wet to sleep on, so I carried on throughout the night. By midday the next day, I was exhausted, but I hadn't passed a single village or town the whole day, but I did find a dry spot underneath a boulder, where I ended up sleeping the night. I woke up before dawn the next morning, it must have been about 3 AM, after an hour of walking, I came upon a city, not large compared to Paris or Mexico City, but it was huge to me, awe inspiring even. Nagpur. The city of Nagpur, right smack in the middle of India, the capital, The Orange City. I would stay there for half a week, sleeping on the streets next to the homeless and the holy. I never met a single person who spoke English, apart from a tourist from Brittan, but I walked away from him, as soon as he scratched the surface of what had happened in the world since my communication had been cut off, I decided that I was happier in ignorance of things that didn't effect me. I left Nagpur that night, halfway to my destination of Kishangnajiohaligar, but, before I left, I sent out a letter to Sanjay, "I'm halfway there".

    The air around Nagpur choked me, it left a bitter, acidic taste in my mouth, the ground and surrounding land was all dead, wet and dead. Apart from the occasional dead animal in the distance, there wasn’t a creature around. This barren wasteland was so different from the India I had come to know over the past few months I could have sworn I was in a completely different country. The cold rain started up again.

    In the distance, I saw a light, as I grew closer, I could make out the shape of a few people, when I came upon them, I found about 4 people and 2 children, huddled around a dead cow in the middle of the road, some praying, some looking around in silence, one of the children, huddled next to his mother, had bandages around his arm and head. The cow had a bullet hole through its left shoulder, and the oldest man was holding a gun. I never spoke to them, for I knew what had happened, the cow had attacked the child for some reason or another, and the farmer had been forced to kill it to save his boy. I knelled down in respect for the family, and went on my way.

    About a week later, I was clear of the deadness of Nagpur, I walked along the road, looking around my landscapes, I saw vast hills, farmers working in the distance, and some rain clouds above, it had been dry most of the week, but a storm was coming, I wondered where I could find shelter. After a few hours of walking, I found a school house, where children had just been dismissed, they were all relieved to be on their way home from school, most of them went back to where I was walking from, but one, a little boy, around 8, was walking the same direction I was. To my surprise, he spoke English, not very well, but I had become adept at hearing through heavy Indian accents.

    We walked together for about half an hour, I mostly told him about America, he seemed convinced he would visit America someday, and I hope he did, we parted ways, but I still remember him very clearly. I eventually found shelter inside a hollowed out tree, it was just big enough for me to squeeze into. I couldn’t build a fire due to the wetness of the ground, but the tree added a meager amount of warmth. When I awoke the next morning, the rain was gone, and the ground was starting to dry up.

    Three and a half months later, I arrived in Kishanganj, the town about twenty miles away from Kishangnajiohaligar, as I walked along the final stretch, I felt good about my travels, I had crossed India, mostly on foot, I could have taken a plane, then a train, but then I would have never had all the experiences of being fully immersed into a culture. I walked into Kishangnajiohaligar, an incredibly small village, I saw an old man sitting on a porch, I said “Sanjay Suri”, he pointed to a moderately large house at the end of the path. I knocked on the door. Sanjay instantly recognized me, he let me inside, he was my age, had a large beard, and short hair. We smoked weed as I shared the stories of my travels.Then, he showed me his farm, it was acres of Marijuana plants, super high quality, he had about 6 farm hands watering and harvesting them. It was a beautiful operation.

    For about 3 months I stood with Sanjay, tripping, smoking weed, talking with other villagers, and living comfortably. I took a series of trains back to Nagpur, where I took a plane back to New York. As I landed in JFK, I realized something, for all the time I had been in India, I never saw myself, only in reflections in water, but never in a mirror, I walked into the airport bathroom. My hair was down to my pectorals, my beard down to the end of my neck, I was incredibly tanned, I might have passed as an India. When I arrived home, I sat down. My house was musty, I tried to sleep in my bed that night, and I found I couldn’t, I ended up sleeping in my garden. Television was boring, American accents seemed alien, and America itself was foreign. Over time, I was able to converge back into the American culture, but a piece of me will always lie in India.
    • by ThomasChong
    • on July 26, 2012
    • filed in Experiences
    • 5 comments
    • 0 likes
  • 23 PUFF PASS

    50 Hits Of Acid: The Whole Trippy Affair

    I ran a six part story about my experience with 50 hits of acid on my highdeas account, now you good people on HE get to experience the whole thing.

    Part I:
    So I was on my way home from this new record store that I wanted to check out, when I saw some cop beating a hippie in an alley. So I go up to him and bribe him 30 bucks so he would leave the poor dude alone. I help the dude up and he is obliviously high out of his mind. He goes to me “Hey man, want to trip tonight? Open your mouth and close your eyes”, so me being a dumbass, did just that. He took out an eye dropper and squirted the whole entire thing into my mouth, it must have held at least 50 or even 60 hits. I think to myself “Oh my fucking god, I need to get home, across the city”.

    You know how acid kicks in after about an hour? This kicked in around 20 minuets. I was on the bus when it started to hit. Everything was swirling around me and I felt like the bus was underwater. So I miss my stop, by the time I’m off I have what would normally be a ten minuet walk home. But after the 45 minuet underwater bus ride. I’m on a different planet. The cracks in the side walk are beginning to act like snakes, street lights are bending and changing colors. Cars look like cartoons with faces and giant wheels, my thumbs are exploding in different colors. I feel like I’m peaking on normal acid two hours into the trip, and I’m just getting started. Houses started walking down the street. I saw parade going down the street of fantastical creatures and otherworldly beings. There’s a long stair case that I need to go down to get to my house, its very steep and winding, it looked like an entrance to the netherworld. I could see my house from the street, it was glowing with fluffy clouds above it. I went down the stair case slowly, but I began to pick up speed for no reason, so I’m running down this stair case at what seems like light speed, the stairs turn into beams of rainbow and I’m running down surrounded by impossible shapes made of love. I reach the bottom of the stair case. There’s a bridge I need to cross that goes over a river, it had been raining that week so it was waay higher than usual, like me. As I cross it I look down, the river is changing into deep shades of purple and green. I see my first car come out, its headlights on, it drives up the bank and starts beeping at me, it wanted revenge for me crashing it when I was 19. It wanted blood. It was chasing me down my street, my house was about a block away. I needed to get there. The trees were growing faces and yelling at me, everything was yelling at me, the sidewalk was crumbling and falling in front of me, I had to hop from crack to crack like an adventure movie. My car was honking and the world was yelling at me. I run up my steps into my house and close the door behind me, silence.

    Part II:
    I closed the door of my house behind me, the noise stopped. My house was dark, none of the lights were on but it seemed like a different type of dark. It felt like my soul was being sucked away by the dark. I fumbled for the light switch, it was bouncing around the wall, when I flicked it I realized it wasn’t working becuase I turned off the fuse box in the basement earlier becuase I didn’t want to bother turning off all the lights in my house.

    I heard a noise, a moan, I thought to myself “Oh shit, my house is haunted”, as I walked into my living room, everything started breaking and morphing, like the house was alive, the walls were breathing so hard they were breaking and creaking. I went into my bathroom in the dark, I looked in the mirror, big mistake, I saw ghostly apparitions behind me, they were woman, with long flowing black hair, their mouths were awkwardly open, like their jaws were broken, their eyes were white, and they were screaming. I grabbed a toilet paper roll, ready to throw it at them, but they were gone. For some reason I opened the shower curtain, I saw a naked man with the head of a cockroach, I ran out of my bathroom, still clenching the toilet paper.

    I needed to get into the basement before I peaked. I took out my lighter, and set the roll of toilette paper on fire, using it as a torch. This was not my basement, it was a graveyard, I was in another world, I saw the full moon, the mist, I began walking to a floating fuse box, when a baby dolls hand shot out from under a grave, then other dolls began coming out of the graves. Their heads were spinning as called out at me. More came out from the ground below my feet dragging me down into the dirt, then black, my toilette paper roll was extinguished, then I felt the carpet floor, as I stood up my head hit the fuse box, I awkwardly stumbled for the switch when, power was restored, it burned my eyes so bad but I loved it. I went back up stairs, which looked like piano keys.

    In my kitchen was the sun, right over my island, along with a fox that was running around. I felt better about my trip, I went to my radio and started up the yellow submarine CD that was in it. I went to my fridge, I wanted to eat ice, for what ever reason. As I opened my freezer I saw many different foods scramble back into their boxes, like I had interrupted a party that they weren’t supposed to be having. I looked at the ice, grabbed a piece, and chomped on it. Then, it started snowing in my kitchen. It was cold so I spit the ice onto the floor, and I walked into my living room, my couch was polka-dotted (its plain leather in real life) rapidly changing colors, my carpet was growing like grass and being mowed by a cat with a purple head who had to keep walking around becuase of the constant growth of the grass. I turned on the tv but I didn’t pay attention to it. I stared at a wall, there must have been 30 different types of clocks on it, but they didn’t have any numbers on any of them.

    There was a gold cuckoo clock that was insanely detailed and amazing, I loved it, it started to ring, and a bird popped out, what happened next is hard to explain, but I’ll do my best. You know how a train looks small then becomes big as it comes toward you? We’ll this is what the cuckoo bird that came out of the clock did to me, it popped out and was coming to me, then it was bigger than me, I flew in through its eye, I was in a cuckoo control room, there was one white door, it looked like it was off a boat, it even had the wheel that opened it. I opened it and saw a black space, I stepped in and started floating, I saw a television floating with its plug whipping around, there was an old coffee commercial that used to be on in the late fifty’s, there’s this lady who puts a cup on a table then makes out with her husband behind it. I bump into the television and the coffee spills out, a huge coffee waterfall, the coffee changes from black and white into brown. I’m in a coffee waterfall, and I land in a coffee swamp. By now I’m just about to peak, I can feel it, but I feel my guardians presence.

    I had never seen my guardians face, he always had the thing a grim reaper wears on. But this time felt different, more pure.

    I’m standing in a coffee swamp, the coffee comes to my chest, the decrepit trees around me start rumbling and my guardian slowly rises out of the water in his pure form. Its a black face, it seems old, but like an old artifact, his face is much bigger than me, and oval shaped, he has no hair or body, his mouth is neutral and his eyes are closed. As he begins to talk his mouth doesn’t move. “You are about to be in a world you are not meant to journey into, you don’t belong there, you will be a foreigner in lands that are not physically possible, you are venturing outside of your native dimension. You will be in many dimensions, this I cannot stop, but I can bring you back home.” It that his eyes opened wide, but I saw no pupils, I saw space, rapidly changing colors, stars blinking and exploding out of existence in mere seconds, I flew in, supernovas blew up all the stars. It was black, I heard my guardian say “Don’t make the big mistake”. Then a far way away, I saw a portal, inside was a black and white world, it grew bigger and bigger. I had reached the peak.

    Part III:
    I saw the dimension approaching quickly, no, it was sucking me in, I landed in a typical town from the 50′s, everything was black and white, a town was in the middle of the desert. Nothing was bending or moving or appearing any more beautiful than it should be, apart from everything being black and white. I was going to ask somebody where I was exactly. I opened the steel door which was tinged with gold around the edges. There was food and even coats here, but no people, it appeared as if everyone has up and left. As I stepped outside I noticed a large cloud of billowing smoke a street over, I cut through an alley, I noticed a huge pile of burning bodies, at least I thought, on closer inspection I found it to be clothes. A huge pile of burning clothes in the middle of nowhere.

    I was intrigued as to what made the citizens of this town leave the diner and burn their clothes. I peaked into one of the houses, I saw a light coming from upstairs, I carefully opened the walnut brown door, and started climbing the stairs. I saw a television on. It was in color, I was on the T.V, lying back on the couch, I was having an out of body experience on a T.V. I wanted out, I took a baseball bat from behind the couch and destroyed the T.V. As I walked back down the stairs I knew I needed to find a way out, I needed to find my guardian. I walked out of the house, the street just ended and a desert was all that could be seen.

    I walked out of the town, I saw a large sand dune and climbed over it. I saw a burial site, many graves, about two hundred. And one man, an old man, sitting in a chair. I asked him “What the fuck happened here?”. He looked at me and said “Their all dead, and you killed them”. I staggered back, memories of me killing the townsfolk started to flood my head, were they real? They were more vivid than any memories I had ever had before, I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth. They began to fade, when I opened my eyes, the man, the chair, the grave site, and the town behind me were gone. My guardian was on a sand dune in front of me.

    We walked through the desert “Why am I here?” I asked. “You have been caught up in the Dimensional Transition, its the journey you should take when you die, you have had such an imbalance of chemicals in your brain that it has decided to throw you into it early, so you don’t kill yourself.” “You can’t die from acid, I say” “If you were to fall down a stair case or cut yourself with a knife, you would, you’re unstable, you might have died in the basement if I hadn’t made you drop your flaming toilette paper roll” He says with a flick of his gloved wrist. “Well whats the Dimensional Transition”, I ask. “When you die, you experience a massive DMT trip, within that trip, you’ll make the Dimensional Transition, its different for everyone, some experience it once at death, some many times with various drugs, and some never becuase their death destroyed their brain” “Yeah, but what exactly is it?” “A self discovering journey, most have never made it past the 3rd Dimensional Transition, but you, you’ll make it to the 4th, the only way to get to the 5th Dimensional Transition is to die, its the ultimate, every bit of knowledge will be yours, you will know everything that ever happened and everything that could ever happen, then you die” “There’s nothing after the 5th Dimensional Transition?” I ask. “Nothing” “So am I in the 1st Dimensional Transition right now?” “Yes” he answers. “What is the difference between the different Dimensional Transitions, exactly?” I asked him. “The 1st Dimensional Transition is childhood, you remember the time you burned your clothes in the Nevada desert when you were 4?” The memory shot back into my head, I was four, camping with my parents, one night I was afraid that there was a spider in my clothes so I threw them into the fire. “But why the strange town, and the burial site, and the old man?” I asked. “That’s for you to figure out, now the 2nd Dimensional Transition is life, or life after childhood, then comes the 3rd Dimensional Transition, which is death, an awful, awful place. Finally, the 4th Dimensional Transition is mind, the purest form of enlightenment a human can experience without dieing” he said “Well, have fun on your travels” “One more thing” I asked “whats the 5th Dimensional Transition called?” He turned to me slowly and said a final parting word “Soul”. With that he walked off.

    I was walking through the black and white desert, but with a single blink the black and the white became negatives of each-other, the sun was black in the sky, the sky behind white as the moon. I heard the melody from “Black Hole Sun” drift through the desert air.

    I saw a door and its frame, standing in the desert, connected to nothing, I walked all the way around it, it didn’t seem to lead anywhere, I opened the door, and saw the black “In-between-dimensions-space”. I stepped in, and floated away.

    Part IV:
    The space between dimensions was different, it felt like there were tinges of color, like if you were to take only one hit of mescaline, you’d feel if you were in a dark hallway, with a door with light behind it, behind that door are open eye’s, but you just can’t reach it.

    I felt something start pulling me from behind, I tried and tried to turn around but I couldn’t, it was sucking me down, my body became sedated, my feet became wet, I was being sucked down a wet black hole, I closed my eyes, and I was in a tree, about 5 feet off the ground. I eased myself down, I was in a forest, large pine trees loomed ahead, there were no stars or moon in the sky. I stepped out of the brush, a dirt road tore through the forest, both ways seemed to go on forever, on the right I saw a light post.

    After about five minuets of walking, I reached the lamp post. It was tall and black, the lamp was attached by hook, swinging in the absence of wind. I looked behind it, I walked all the way around it, when I came back around, I noticed a bike, halfway buried in the road, I wanted to dig it out, so I could traverse this forest road with a greater ease. I started digging it out then the ground started to crumble, I fell through and landed on the other side of the ground. The ground was only an inch thick, each side had gravity. I was on the reverse side, I looked down (up?) the hole I had just made, I saw the street lamp, rocking back and forth quickly. I looked around, I was surrounded by the roots of trees, sprouting up like bushes, I noticed the bike’s lamp turn on, it started moving.

    I chased after it, it was weaving through the roots, until it was caught between two. I grabbed it and started to ride it, I saw the light of my hole, I began riding tword it, but it was closing, I flew through, and landed on top of the repaired hole. I sat my bike up, it was dark, the street lamp had been warped and bent by something.

    I began riding, the head lamp of the bike was helpful, but the surrounding woods still scared me. The trail stopped, it was now a cliff, I looked down it, it seemed to go on forever, I looked left and right, they also seemed to go on forever. Then I turned around, my bike looked like a T-Rex had stepped on it, the trees all around were destroyed, I saw the tops of trees all around falling, a group of some large something’s was coming for me. I jumped off the cliff.

    I was falling, after a few seconds I saw a glowing orange and red tinge, then I saw them, the huge glowing rivers of lava and the black brimstone surrounding them. I hit the ground hard. I stood up, my head dizzy. A man in a designer suit walked up too me, no, this was no man, he had a red face and small horns sticking out of his head. “Are you the devil?” I asked. “Hahaha, the fucking devil? Yeah, I’m the devil, my friend the tooth fairy and Santa are here too!” “Where then fuck am I, is this hell?”, he looked at me, and said with a laugh “Hell? No dumbass, this is Sugar Candy Mountain” “Who are you?”, I asked. “I’m Dave” he answered nonchalantly. “What? Dave who?”. “I’m Dave Burnstein, diphthong, now come on, lets take a walk.”.

    “Why is this place called Sugar Candy Mountain?” I asked, still confused by the whole situation. “I don’t know, man, why is Seattle called Seattle?” He asked me. “It was probably the name of some Native American tribe” I answered quickly. “Well then, shut the fuck up, smartass”. We walked over a brimstone bridge that crossed a huge river of lava, we came to a fork in the road. The sign read, “LEFT: Dave’s house / RIGHT (unreadable)”, we went right.

    We walked in silence for a bit, until I asked “So is this the 3rd Dimensional Transition?” “What? No! You think I would live there, that place is awful, its a warped place, the worst of all Dimensional Transitions, I would rather go to your hell then go there.” “Oh”, I said, “I’m going there next” He stopped dead. “WHAT?! Why? Thats a fucking terrible idea!”. “Well, I have to, its some spiritual journey or some shit like that.” We started walking again. “Well, I’m sorry for you man, not even guardians will go in there, and they go into bad trips all the time. “Guardian’s? Theres more than one?” “Yeah, you selfish asshole, everyone has one, they’re a part of your brain” “Are you a part of my brain?” “No, I’m Dave, dumbass”.

    “Sugar Candy Mountain, the name is familiar to me, its from a book called Animal Farm, it was their heaven, if this is where they ended up then I feel sorry for them.” “Hey! I live here, buddy, how would you like it if you took me on a tour of L.A. and I told you how shitty it was” “Sorry” I mumbled. Sugar Candy Mountain’s ground started becoming less black, until it was bright copper. Dave stopped. “Well this is as far as I can go, see you later man” He turned around as I said “Bye”.

    I walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked. The ground so gradually changed from copper to white that I hardly noticed it had leveled. I was in a world of white. This was nowhere land. It was boring. I kept walking, off in the distance I noticed a blue streak. I walked to, it being the only thing to walk to. I realized it was a fast moving, clear river, flowing through nowhere land. There was a single white sail boat, attached to a single white dock, in a single white world. I hopped in the boat, untied it, and was whisked away.

    I must have been going twenty miles per hour, I was moving seamlessly through nowhere land, but it wasn’t like I was going anywhere, since there was nowhere to go. I heard a loud noise, the stream grew larger and larger until it was a river, then a channel, then an ocean, with a white sky. I kept floating and floating, the noise grew larger. I looked down, massive fish, the size of skyscrapers with multicolored scales and magnificent glowing eyes swam about in the clear water below me. The water was so clear it was as if I was floating, yet so deep I couldn’t see the bottom. The noise grew larger and larger until I realized what it was, a giant waterfall, going endlessly in each direction.

    I was going to go over it, it was circular, like a drain with sheer edges, in the middle was an island, with black sand. I braced for my travel off the huge, thousand foot waterfall, just as my boat went over I jumped out of it. Pointing my body, as I hit the water I blacked out. I woke up on the black-sanded beach. The island wasn’t very big, only about 100 feet from one side to another. All black sand, no trees, no houses, only one structure, a large, black obelisk with a purple portal in it. I knew where it lead. I called out for my guardian, his head rose from the water, its eyes closed, just as it had in the coffee swamp. “Go whenever you like, but you must make the journey through the 3rd Dimensional Transition, you can spend as much time as you like on this beach, but you must go eventually”. I sat on the black-sanded beach, dipping my feet in the pleasant clear water for what seemed like hours, but my fate was inevitable, I got up, and stepped through the portal.

    Part V:
    I flew through this purple void, with magnificent, deep tones of dreary colors mimicking emotions, wondering where I would end up. I closed my eyes, and opened. I was in a bathroom; I could tell it was Asian style, due to the shape of the toilet. I heard a rumbling, I stepped outside the bathroom onto an empty, dark train station, an empty, lightless subway car showed up, seeing no other way to escape from this damp, dark place, I entered it.

    It started moving right after I stepped in, there was no voice, and nobody was sitting on the train. It began picking up speed, faster and faster. I sat in a seat, it was awkward and uncomfortable, around the dim train were scratches, everywhere, the windows were shattered but not broken, it was a sad place, as if all love had been sucked out of it. I looked out the window into the subway tunnel, an absolute absence of light unfolded over me, it was darker than dark. I looked away from the window, a man, seemingly homeless, had appeared on the train.

    He was wearing a heavy brown coat, with a hood pulled over his head, he was looking down. I wanted to talk to him, but found that even looking at him caused a sense of loss in my chest, like he was draining my soul, I looked down at my feet. I looked up again, he had moved closer, and was now about 5 seats away. I heard a tap on my window, I glanced at it, nothing, but he had moved another two seats closer, still on the opposite side of the hall. I closed my eyes, hard, hoping to reappear somewhere else, somewhere better. He was across the hall.

    I stood up and shouted “Just who the fuck are you!? “. He shivered. He spoke to me in an accent that I couldn’t place, but his voice was deep and tortured, as if he had been screaming all his life. “You shouldn’t be here, but now, you can’t escape, the driver will find you, he found me.” He slowly lifted up his hood, revealing a bald man, with no eyes, and deep scars all over his face and head, he smiled a broken plead for help. The train stopped, he got off, while I was left, bewildered and terrified.

    I wondered who the driver was, I decided to walk up to the first car of the train to find out. When the train had stopped where I got on, I counted about 5 cars, but, as I walked through these cars, they never seemed to end; I must have walked through about 50 until I gave up. I picked up a piece of glass and scratched a large X on a window, I walked through a train door, the X was still there.

    I sat down again in desperation, the train would need to stop sometime, I waited, and looked out the window, I saw a young Indian boy when I looked away. I walked up to him, he didn’t have an heir of sadness about him. I asked him “Where am I” He turned to me calmly, and said “The 3rd Dimensional Transition”. I had known where I was, yet I still staggered back at the news. “Where are we, exactly?” I asked. “This is the train that goes between the different realms of the 3rd Dimensional Transition, right now, I am leaving this place.” “How?”, I asked “They are going to kill me”. I looked at this innocent, harmless little boy, and I wondered who would ever want to kill him “Why?” I blurted out. “Because, it was either this, or 1,000 cycles of 1,000 years of torture, after that, you are either let out of this realm, or the driver makes you a torturer” “So this is hell” I asked him. “Such a place does not exist, this is a passing place for souls who cannot bear to leave their fears behind, or to face them, there are three options when you end up hear, to cease existing, be tortured, or to face what scares you most, but me, I was born here, I have a soul that is only tethered to this dimension, I can never leave this awful place, so I must cease to exist.” “Oh…” I said, “Well, why does anybody choose thousands of years of torture over facing their fears” He looked into my eyes and said “Because some people have grown so poor in life that all they possess is money, they haven’t a heart, their judgement is clouded, they are not punished by force, they believe that they will find a loophole, that the universe will bend to their whim, people who never realized that they are not the center of the universe, money holds no power here, the only power in this world is held by the driver.” “Who the fuck is the driver?” “He is an entity, much like a guardian, but he is not looking out for the protection of souls, he processes them, the torture will eventually make all memories of previous lives disappear, from there, they are either recruited as a torturer, or sent along to their journey to the 5th Dimensional Transition, if they choose to cease existing, they are brought to a place where they will drink from a chalice, and die, it does not hurt, there is no wait, they simply cease to exist, or, they can face their fear, by going through the cave, the cave morphs and turns, it knows you better than you know yourself, it will root itself into your brain, you’ll be subjected to mental torture, which the weaker minded cannot even begin to stand, now get off at this stop, if you take a left through the canyon, you’ll be tortured, if you go right, you’ll go to the cave.”I got off the train, and left the small boy to his cruel fate.

    I was in a cobblestone square, it was deep underground, the walls were made out of obsidian, and a red clock post hung from the ceiling. To the left was a jagged canyon, to the right, was a trail. I went to the right and followed the trail, when it stopped into a wall, near the trail was a metal door, with crimson paint, I opened it, and found myself in a cave.

    Near the door was a weaved basket with four torches in it, I grabbed one and lit it on the single torch above the door, I began walking through this cave, my eyes began playing tricks on me, I would hear screams, see movement out of the corner of my eye. Then on the floor, I saw a line of red paint. I knew what it was, it was where the cave would bury into my brain, I closed my eyes and stepped over it. I was on the Titanic, or some ship from the 1900′s, I was in a ball room, pitch black skeletons with large bulging blue eyes peered at me, I touched one, he turned to dust and blew away, a gasp fell over the crowd and the music stopped, his dancing partner stepped back into the crowd. They began walking tword me, faster and faster, I turned around and ran through the kitchen door and I was back in the cave, I picked up my still burning torch from the floor and kept walking, the cave was on a downward path, so I wasn’t turned around.

    I heard yelling and screaming from the inside of my head, I would hear footsteps behind me, only to turn around and not see them anywhere. I saw the tortured man from the train running full out at me from the darkness, he was bleeding heavily, once he was about a foot away from me, he faded from existence, as if he was never there. I blinked, and an eye appeared on the wall of the cave, more and more began opening, a moaning noise started, it was layered, as if a whole stadium was moaning, hands began coming out of the wall, grabbing at my face, I noticed another red line on the floor, I closed my eyes and jumped over it, desperate to free myself from the hands.

    I was in a twisted, dark hallway with purple wall paper that was peeling off, behind me was only a wall, there was only one door in this hallway. I noticed that there were picture frames along the wall, but there wasn’t anything in them, the carpet was burnt along the sides, I came to the wooden, white door and I opened the door. It was a dark room, a single candle was burning on a dresser, a woman in a wedding dress, whose face and hands looked like they had been charred by a fire, she was just a skeleton, with bits of charred flesh falling off her. She was cradling a baby who looked about the same as she did, as if it had been in a fire. She turned to me, her eyes fused shut, she uttered in an unbalanced voice “Don’t wake the baby”. Her eyes jarred open, revealing a blood shot monstrosity of an eye. She started screaming, I turned around, opened the door, and I was back in the cave. I kept walking, a young girl in a white dress appeared around the corner, her spine cracked and contorted, I could only watch as her body morphed into a jumbled mess, then, she dissipated and disappeared. I felt as if the air was running out, I would keep hearing voices and whispers in my head, I would not become aware of their existence until they ended, and I could never remember what they said.

    For what seemed like days I walked through this cursed place, experiencing dreadful hallucinations. Until I noticed a foreign light source, it was the brightest thing I had seen in the 3rd Dimensional Transition, I walked uphill to get it, up and up, a large, golden door was in front of me, light leaking from all around it. I opened it. I was in a white room with golden trimmings, it had a soft focus about it. In the middle was a fountain, I jumped into the clear water, it was bigger I was in an ocean of love and happiness, at the bottom, I saw a door radiating the purest light I had ever seen, I swam to it, opened it and stepped through, I was on my way to the 4th Dimensional Transition.

    Part VI:
    I was out of the 3rd Dimensional Transition, my back felt lifted, like every single step I took was effortless, my very existence was pure here, I couldn’t recall any negative memories, the 3rd Dimensional Transition seemed like a different world, like it was a movie I had turned away from.

    I was on an island in the middle of a lake, surrounding it was a colorful forest, with a house flickering in the difference. I found I could walk over the water, it was amazing, below me, fishes in all shades of the rainbow swam about, I walked over to a cobblestone path that appeared to be made of emeralds. I followed the path through the beautiful forest the sky seemed to change colors, every thing seemed so intensely beautiful that I almost couldn’t even comprehend the existence of a world like this. As I stepped on cobble stones, they would change into different colors, I felt like I heard music that didn’t exist, I could have stayed in this world for hours on end, observing the multicolored birds fly through the multicolored trees.

    I stepped into the small house, and I was in a large palace in the sky. But it felt faint, like it was a dream I was leaving, at the top of the stairs was a huge, forty foot tall golden portal, I knew where it led, and I knew I didn’t belong where it went. The scenery around me began to collapse, it all crumpled and I was alone in a void of darkness, then I saw it, a door, a plain, old brown door. I stepped through, I was on another plane, outside of all dimensions, shapes that made no physical sense moved around in ways that shouldn’t be possible, intense geometrical shapes made of love. I felt like I was moving, accelerating, faster and faster, then I hit something, I stopped and heard a crack.

    My eyes were closed. I was still high, but I was in my own house. It was a manageable high. I got up from my couch. I went out through the back door. The sun was rising, and, out of all the landscapes I’d been through, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

    See you next time space cowboy.
    • by ThomasChong
    • on May 16, 2012
    • filed in Experiences
    • 13 comments
    • 2 likes
  • 7 PUFF PASS

    Fucking Drug Tests

    This is how to fuck a drug test. Make it your bitch.

    Listen Lazykush, I'm gonna help you out, drinking anything, bleach, and other chemicals like draino and vinegar WILL NOT WORK, most labs also turn off tap water, and have toilet sensors, they also know how to test for bleach and other chemical additives, and a urine switch will need to be at body temperature, they test that too. Also bleach will fucking burn the shit out of your mouth. Because its bleach.

    There is ONE way to fool a urine test. Working out. Seriously, if you don't move very much, marijuana will stay in your system for 2-3 months, if you get real sweaty twice a week, it can be out in 20 days. If you work out so hard you pass out for about a week, you MAY get it out in 7-14. A buddy of mine just runs up and down his highrise apartment stairs 5 times per day for seven days straight when a test is coming up. Has mad calves, yo.

    Step 1: Stop week intake, allow a minimum of two days preferably a week. And for those of you on probation, really if you value your freedom I would just leave it alone, but it's your life.

    Step #2: If possible increase your creatin level within two days of your test - this can be done a couple of ways (creatin is a chemical that increase muscle development, muscles develop from the inside out and the higher your creatin level the faster they develop) red meat and fish consumption will increase creatin levels, sexual activity also helps, you can consume lots of red meat and fish to boost your levels or it can be done artificially (if you are concerned about the increased cholesterol levels from consuming the meat and fish) GNC sells a product called Creatine follow the instructions and excess creatine in your system will be urinated away, and I haven't found any information that states it does harm to your system. If you are using Creatine just follow the instructions up till you take your test. The reason you want to increase your creatin level is a lot of labs are checking that the levels of Creatin in your system are high enough, if they are too low its a potential sign you have diluted your sample. Also, keep working out you lazy bastards.

    Step #3 If you know when you are going to be tested allow yourself a good five hour head start, drink as much water as you can handle then drink even more and keep drinking as much water as you possibly can when your urine is clear with no sign of color you'll be in good shape but keep drinking the water and don't stop until your test.

    Step #4 about 2 hours before your test take vitamin B-12 either through a multi-vitamin or just B-12 take about three times the daily allowance - it will be on the ingredient label how much the daily allowance of B-12 you are taking - this will help keep the samples color more natural looking and the lab won't be suspicious of dilution - allow two hours because the neon yellow appearance will be much less after two hours and the sample will look more natural - It's purely for color and it will increase your energy level.

    Step #5 keep drinking water till your test - NEVER GIVE YOUR FIRST URINATION OF THE DAY FOR A URINE TEST. Also, if you have a month to prepare, use it, you can lighten your workout load and not stress as much.

    One more thing, use the steps, even if they're a hassle, they might save your life, or job, but bare in mind that nothing can give you a 100% chance of a drug free test besides not doing drugs for months before. This steps will however push you up in the 95% zone.
    • by ThomasChong
    • on November 1, 2012
    • filed in Science
    • 2 comments
    • 0 likes
  • 6 PUFF PASS

    Red Feds Art Challenge

    Every week Sunday there will be a topic posted. You will have until Saturday to upload a picture on the subject, but this is no art class, the topics will be extremely absurd and strange, but broad enough for creativity to come through. There is no prize, no penalties, and no hate, this will be a way for all the artists out in LK land to have a foundation to build on, to be inspired by. Any media is fine, whether it be a scribbling in MS Paint, or an oil painting that took 6 hours.

    http://lazykush.com/forums/topic/625/red-feds-art-challenge/view/post_id/4735
    • by ThomasChong
    • on September 20, 2012
    • filed in Philosophy
    • 0 comments
    • 0 likes
  • 6 PUFF PASS

    Perspectivitania

    I felt the car crash, felt my ribs crack, the seat-belt tighten, the shatter of glass, and then, nothing. I was in blackness, slowly colors came into view, reds, blacks, greys, and I knew it, I was in hell. No doubt about it. I sank down to my knees, I cursed god, my choices, and I wondered what I did to deserve to be here.

    Then I looked around. There were no demons hauling me away, no tortured screams, all I heard was silence. I stood up, wiped the tears out from under my eyes. Where was I? A small cave with a red light coming out of an opening. I followed the cave unto a cliff, and I saw it, boiling pools of lava, instruments of torture, horrible devices that I didn't ever want to learn the use of. There was a small staircase to my left, I walked down it, onto the ground floor of hell. There were no people, the room I was in was gargantuan, the ceiling must have been 2000 feet high, with large stalactites hanging from it. The room must have been the size of Alaska, but there was no curve, no horizon, it was perfectly flat.

    I looked around, there was nobody, I looked for a place to sit down that wasn't covered in spikes, and I found a small stair case that led into a pool of lava. I sat on the stair case itself, and waited, and waited, for about an hour, when the heat coming off the lava grew a little too much for me, when not near lava, the room was a comfortable 70 degrees. I didn't understand, why was I here? If I was in hell, I should be getting tortured, there should at least be demons. There were none. None. Nothing. No-one. Forever.

    It then dawned on me, this was my punishment, an eternity of lonesomeness, the only possible activity self torture. I sat back down on the stairs, and started to cry.
    • by ThomasChong
    • on November 1, 2012
    • filed in Philosophy
    • 0 comments
    • 0 likes
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